Wesker's magical egg quest, and finding Cooking Mama love with eggs
by TheGlitchOTPBabymaker
Summary: This is the ultimate OTP of Cooking Mama X Albert Wesker, and this is how they met, at an Egg convention,
One day Albert Wesker wanted an egg, AND HE REALLY WANTED A DAMN EGG! So he went out in search of his favorite food the egg, the magic white oval-shaped food substance. He would not rest until he found an egg to sate his hunger, or else he would have to kill someone out of frustration. Wesker started shouting random things "7 minutes, 7 minutes is all I have to spare BEFORE I GET A DAMN EGG!" That is when Wesker notices something, something spectacular. He saw a cooking contest featuring an Iron Chef battle between Cooking Mama and Gordon Ramsey. Having seen this Wesker thought to himself "YES, this cooking contest surely has the egg I need to sate my hunger, so many eggs are going to be here!"

Wesker entered the cooking contest and his SENSES were assaulted with the majestic SMELL OF EGG! "This is the famous egg festival I have wanted to visit for YEARS!" The Eggtacular McFestival Arcade Edition is the most famous and well regarded festivals to celebrate the magical and versatile egg. Wesker was ecstatic, behind his black as night shades you could see it in his eyes that this was the best day of his life. Then a thought entered the mind of our egg enthusiast, how did he not know about it being in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. Turns out this is the special version of The Eggtacular McFestival Arcade Edition _Alpha_ , it being for the most dedicated of egg lovers.

This barely bothered Wesker as he soon started to sample the show floor eggs. These eggs were the best eggs he had ever tasted. He shouted "THESE ARE THE BEST EGGS I HAVE EVER EATEN NOTHING COULD EVER TOP THEM!" This reverberated throughout the convention hall, then another voiced called out "Your mom is the best eggs I've ever had, and nothing can top her" It was the Kool Aid Man, Albert Wesker's mortal enemy. Wesker, obviously annoyed, yelled back "No one likes egg Kool-Aid" The Kool-Aid man obviously nettled by this statement approached the man, the myth the legend, Albert Wesker.

The two stared down each other in a dead lock, a crowd forming around the two egg lovers. Then a mutual friend of the two, Charles Barkley broke them up, and telling them both off, saying "Break it up guys, this is a where we can all love eggs." Wesker and the Kool-Aid man back off from one another heading the wise words of Charles Barkley. So he decided to head off to the Iron Chef battle, to see the two top Egg Chefs in the world, and see how they cook.

Albert Wesker entered the contest hall, where the competition was being held, he was super DUPER excited, so excited he could kill someone, so he went to the first row, looked for the most nondescript man in the row, found him, killed him sat down, then killed the two people next to him for some arm room. As the competition began, the lights dimmed, music started to play, then Slam Jam started to blast as MC ProtonJon descended from the ceiling and started yelling "ARE YOU READY TO SLAM EGG LOVERS, BECAUSE THIS IS GONNA BE ONE HELL OF A COOK OFF, THE FAMED COOKING MAMA AND GORDON RAMSEY ARE HERE TO FACE OF IN THE ULTIMATE COMPETITION OF EGG COOKING MASTER, WELCOME TO THE JAM WAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Wesker was pleased by this, ProtonJon was his favorite EggTuber. Gordon Ramsey came out first and flexed his ONE GIANT ARM, Wesker was impressed, but he was convinced he could beat him in an arm wrestling contest.

Then Wesker was graced with HIS GODDESS of eggs, Cooking Mama. Albert Wesker WAS ENAMORED with her elegant golden apron, her incredible kerchief, her simple yet beautiful blue jeans, her plain, stunning white shirt, her stunning brown-orange hair, soft looking complexion, her effective shoes, and deep black brownish eyes. Wesker had found his one true Egg Goddess, the Egg Goddess to rule all Egg Goddesses. Wesker was awe stricken when the judges of came onto the stage. The judges being, the professional EggTuber ProtonJon, and Tom Fawkes, Gordon Ramsey's porn star lookalike sans giant arm, Waluigi the hero of the universe, and one spot open being for a randomly chosen audience judge.

Wesker was not having none of the luck bullshit, so he made himself the audience judge, by threatening Gordon Ramsey's Porn Star lookalike sans giant arm, getting him a spot on the judges panel. Then the contest started, Cooking Mama, and Gordon Ramsey started cooking, and then 20 minutes later, the eggs were done. Wesker and the other judges all ate the eggs and unanimously agreed that Cooking Mama had the best eggs, and this only proved to Wesker that she was the perfect woman for him. Then Gordon Ramsey's midget porn star lookalike sans giant arm was about to give Cooking Mama her victory award, before Wesker pushed him aside took the award and presented it to Cooking Mama with his number it the chalice trophy he presented to her, and said "Call me".

Cooking Mama blushed. No one had been upfront about their attraction towards Mama this was very unexpected. Mama stopped Wesker before he could step off stage and asked "Can we go on a date, I mean there are many eggs in this convention hall". Wesker was happy this has worked out and said "I accept this offer and wish to depart immediately." The two went on their abrupt date to the Ultimate Egg Stand Super Mega Arcade Turbo Alpha Beta Edition, it was run by Gordon Ramsey's midget porn star lookalike sans giant arm. Gordon Ramsey's midget porn star lookalike sans giant arm said "These are the best eggs purchasable here, 25 dollars for a baker's dozen." Mama using her ultimate persuasion weapon, her celebrity status to get them for free.

Then the ultimate jackass The Kool-Aid man came to harass Wesker, but noticed Mama, and started to brown nose "Albert Wesker I did not know you had such good taste in women, and egg chiefs". Mama and Wesker weren't having his crap and told him off. Wesker said "Well looks like the failure of an entrepreneur The 'Kool-Aid' man is here to try and get in good with the best of the best, go back to your horrid egg-based drink ideas, unless you want to know TRUE PAIN." Mama adding in with "I have heard of this hack, and he couldn't tell a sunny-side up egg from hard-boiled, and can't tell the difference between natural, and chlorine bathed eggs."

This pissed of the Kool-Aid man a started to grow to the size of a 5 story building, his glass tinted redder than normal, and his face turned feral. Wesker and Mama were afraid, until they heard Charles Barkley shout "I got your guys' back." They turned to see Barkley spinning the Sonic Spin Eggsketball, in order for them to slam dunk the Kool-Aid man one had to jump up to his open head. Barkley passed the Sonic Spin Eggsketball to Gordon Ramsey's midget porn star lookalike as Wesker, Mama, Gordon Ramsey, and Waluigi to try and slam dunk the Kool-Aid Man. Gordon Ramsey's midget porn star lookalike sans giant arm passed the Sonic Spin Eggsketball to TomFawkes, Tom passed it to Proton Jon, Jon passed it Chris Redfield, Chris passed it to Barack Obama, Obama passed it to Waluigi, Waluigi passed it to Gordon Ramsey, Gordon passed it to Wesker with his giant arm, and Wesker passed it to Mama.

Mama slam dunking the Sonic Spin Eggsketball into the top of the Kool-Aid man's open head, instantly shattering him. This causing Red Egg Kool-Aid to rain down, Mama and Wesker embarrassed, which turned into a passionate kiss while everyone around cheered, except for Giant Armed Gordon Ramsey, being angsty that he lost. After Wesker and Mama's passionate kiss, Wesker and Mama gave snappy comments to the Kool-Aid man's corpse.

Wesker stated "Weskered" and Mama said "Mamaed"

FIN.


End file.
